Going through a breakup is reminiscent of mourning the loss of a loved one. You have devoted your time, energy and effort to the idea that the relationship would succeed.
It is essential to remember that it is only this relationship you mourn, not a total and not the total loss of your hopes and dreams. Your life will move on, just down a new path. You do not have to proceed blindly, there are five steps to a breakup that you can expect.
Stage 1:
The first stage is usually denial. You can not believe that the relationship has ended. You are left asking how could all of your efforts amount to not? You must remind yourself in this stage that sometimes a breakup, no matter how difficult, is really the best outcome. Try to disconnect yourself from the emotional aspects and look at the relationship objectively. You will likely be able to accurately pinpoint the fatal flaws in the relationship and if it’s possible to get back with your ex.
Stage 2:
Once the denial fades, likely it will be replaced with anger. This anger can be directed towards yourself, your ex or even the universe in general. No matter whom you blame, trust that there is no single culprit and angry accusations do not solve any problems. It is best to move on as soon as possible.
Stage 3:
As you work past the anger and hurt associated with the ending of a relationship, you will likely to find yourself falling in love again. It is human nature to squash the hurtful memories and let the good times overshadow the problems of the past. The danger associated is that if you try to rekindle your relationship without facing the root problems, then you will likely find yourself in this situation again.
Stage 4:
Deep sadness for the loss of your hopes for this relationship will follow. You will mourn what has been as well as what could have been. You may even feel disappointment for the portion of your life, months or years, that you have dedicated to this relationship. Try to remind yourself that although things did not work out the way you envisioned you can always learn and grow from each new experience in life. Use this encounter as a tool for personal growth.
Stage 5:
Finally you will land on the other side of this breakup at acceptance. Hopefully you will have become a better person for having lived through this experience. Acceptance will allow you to gather up the knowledge and self-discovery from this relationship and venture out towards the next relationship, hopefully with better success.
If after all of this, if you are still determined to win back your ex, there is still hope. Click here to find out how.
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